I'm still figuring out how to formulate all my thoughts into one post. I think this is gonna be super luo suo but yeah I mean each and every single word 100%

Okay firstly, from this whole experience, God taught me love. For a long time I haven't felt this way, being caught up at school and all, didn't really get the experience the love you feel from real friendships, you know what I mean? And through this, God really opened up my eyes to see how much we really do love each other. It's amazing, really. Everyday I get sms-es asking how our cell mates are doing, and if I'm okay, etc. It's so nice to feel loved, especially by my cell mates (my God given friends), and I'm sure you all experienced that :)

Next, God showed me faith.

Okay fine everyone knows I'm the most paranoid one around but seriously I wasn't REALLY worried until I got home from camp. Like...I can't even put it into words. I was super worried for Jiaru and Benton and Shaun (at that time) and like, what I was thinking was, Why, God? Our first central two camp and it had to end abruptly like that. What's more the night before we just had an awesome powerpacked service where Jeanette told us about a special vision she had for our cell. And all...to be honest, I was like "God you're such a wet blanket"

But.

God revealed to me, that what he was putting us through was something that we needed so that we could entire into his plans for our cell. It wasn't easy knowing that this was gonna be like, super hard. (I'm sure you all found it really hard to accept and all cos it's like...super...I dunno..daunting?) but yeah it's like it was as if he was moulding the cell. And what we had to do was just trust.

(Listen to the song Voice Of Truth-Casting Crowns) :)

Third thing that God told me was actually that he was real.

I know this sounds really stupid, but yeah that's exactly what he taught me. About 2-3 weeks back there was leaders retreat and I went for it and it was really really awesome (Good job Iz!) And yeah it was definitely powerpacked to the max too. I remember this particular service where PJ spoke on allowing God to break us-to make us. She took reference from the lady in the bible that broke her albaster jar to pour the precious oil on jesus'. And yeah I don't really know how to explain this but seriously, the alabaster jar means ALOT to women of those times. Like super super, and yeah she broke it just so she could give Jesus her best. :) And I remember PJ also saying that when God breaks us, it'll be really really painful but it'll actually be all for the better (: and we'll emerge stronger.
When she gave that altar call I was really hesitant, really really hesitant. Somehow I felt God tell me that he was gonna break me-through my family (that sounds wrong but you guys get it) and yeah considering that my family had spent our last 2 christmases in the hospital for several reasons, I sort of dismissed that thought as paranoia. And so I asked God to break me, and I fully meant it.

And little did I know that he did break my family-my spiritual family. You guys, my cell. No, God's central two. But I know that when we come out of this we'll be so much stronger than before and we'll be stepping into God's promise land for us. :)

I really really can't wait for this episode to blow over, and to see you guys soon :) You have no idea how much I miss you guys ): And yeah I do hope sincerely that we'll all continue to pray and intercede in one accord for our beloved cell mates that are still in the hospital, as well as pray for protection over the rest :) I know that God has something great and awesome to be done in our cell, and I really can't wait to see what it is. :)

We will overcome!