The thing I regret is not saying this at Cell
Saturday, January 23, 2010 @ 6:25 AM
Okay Kendrick here, this is my first time I ever posted on this cell blog, and I think we all SHOULD know why I am going to do this.Cell today was really sad, but I hope we can move on from this, because, well meh it's going to be better if we let go. I cried today during cell, and I hope that no one noticed, but then again I don't think I did a good job of hiding it. It's like Central 2 has dissolved, and aren't going to be sure about where this is going to go. Cell was always a bright light at the end of a week for me, for most of you, you probably don't really know much about my life, and sad to say, I didn't really have a life before coming to Megalife. I was always that good boy going to school and doing his tests, I had friends, I made them broke them and lost them really easily. I was also really fat then, and got bullied a lot, and I became a fighter. I landed some people in the hospital before for that. So when I first came into cell, I wasn't really sure of how life would change for me. In Superlife, I sat by and read the bible, and completely tao-ed the talking because it was always the same freakin' thing. I also saw how fun Megalife was from a distance so I really wanted to join. Unfortunately, I came in as a rather quiet guy, and on the first cell day I remembered I threw sweets at Chee Yann and Benton :x. I opened up but not completely. This is mostly about Jiaru, and this was probably the reason why I cried during cell. When Jiaru came into cell halfway into the year(because he got never got around to finding out his own cell and ran off to his friend's one), I kind of opened up to him the most. I think most of the older ones sec 3, 4 and above noticed that, and maybe the sec 2s but I'm not sure because they came in later. He made life a whole lot more bearable for me because honestly, I was broken deeply inside. It's really hard to explain why, but I got a whole lot better. Dammit I'm crying again here. He's going to a new cell this year. Now I know I'll still get to see him around church and get to torture him, but I relied on him a lot during a lot my Sec 1 life. I even remembered that I would sometimes wonder to come to cell on account if Jiaru was here or not. So this change is really a lot to me, though I try to keep a straight face and lie about it being okay, because I definitely am not. I don't know how I'm going to cope but I'm going to keep trying. I feel really bad, it's almost like telling people how am I supposed breathe with no air. So to Jiaru, (though I don't know whether you see this or not) thanks. I had you for a tiger, and you will be my first and last one. I will have other people to torture, but it's never going to be the same without you. You're special to me. To the rest of the cell, I want to challenge all of you. I am going to do my best to get over this and bond with my new cell, and I want everyone to do the same okay? If we keep holding on to something that is gone, we can never move forward. Kendrick |